So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
vagina is talking i cant
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
