How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
