sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
