Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
