Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
