We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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