I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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