so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
