ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
