I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
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