we have pet lesbian snakes
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Randomize
