I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
