You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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