She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
