Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Randomize
