just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I just found a bag of teeth...
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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