Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
