nut hugger
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
