we're chasing vodka with high fives
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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