So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
