I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
