So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
