So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize