and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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