Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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