i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
