Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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