I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
