I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
