Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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