Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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