HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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