Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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