pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize