No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
