he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
How many fucks given?
0.12846
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
