I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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