Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
