you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
