I seem to have left my pride at pride
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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