Me too!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
