I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
