fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
