He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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