There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
