she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
