BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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