I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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