Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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