Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
