I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
