...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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