Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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