Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
