Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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