Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
