I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize