Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
she woke up with a sticky ear
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
