I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Randomize