like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
