It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
