Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
