I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize